By Annie Garrett, PEPS Contributor (Estimated reading time: 7 minutes)
No words. There are no words that really capture the feeling when you sing to your infant and they coo back joyfully. Take this clip of my then-newborn as an example. He’s now three, but I go back to this video occasionally to relive the euphoria of the interaction. Why is it so euphoric? What exactly is happening in interactions like this?
To answer this question, I interviewed music educator Jocelyn Manzanarez, founder of Musically Minded, which recently celebrated its twentieth year in operation. I’ll allow her to introduce herself:
Jocelyn, I’ve heard so much about the so-called “30 million word gap.” The research has been called into question in recent years, but meanwhile, millennial parents are still being encouraged to narrate the day for our little ones, to “sportscast.” Sometimes, it just feels exhausting and forced to me. My baby isn’t a very good conversationalist, ha! But singing feels different. Tell me about that.
“Singing to your baby, there are so many things it serves. It releases endorphins, it calms the baby’s body, and it calms the stressed out caregiver. When we sing, we naturally slow down our breathing. These are all the things that help us become better for that child. This calm interaction can calm baby to sleep, get the child laughing, and oogling back and forth.”
I know you are a licensed teacher and have trained many teachers on building literacy through music and movement. How does singing build literacy?
“When we sing, we naturally break apart words into syllables, and we slow it down, which naturally allows your child to take in so many elements of reading. They need to hear those syllables to decode words. And they need to hear the words in a sentence to begin to understand parts of speech, vocabulary and all the other not so easy rules in the English language. In songs, they are being exposed to those words over and over again. The hard part about being with a nonverbal infant/toddler is that we as the caregivers are not sure what’s going in, and then one day they say one of those words. The return on our investment takes so long, and I think people can give up and think “that’s not working,” but that’s not true. Once they’re ready, those words will be there, but it takes repetition with a very delayed win. When we attach positive emotions to it, which is a critical piece to learning of any kind, it speeds up the learning because of course the child naturally yearns for connection.”
Ah, the emotion piece. I have heard it said that all learning for young children takes place ‘in the context of relationship.’ That’s the whole reason that the Harvard Center for the Developing Child promotes “serve and return” interactions, and I know that music and movement really engage my baby. But what about those of us who aren’t natural singers or musicians?
“When you aren’t used to singing, you do feel self-conscious… we live in a culture where we have been told you are either a performer or an audience member. This originated over 400 years ago in Europe with the creation of music halls. It went from families singing together in villages, around a piano. Wherever humans gathered there was music. In some African languages, there isn’t a word for audience. There isn’t a word for the idea that you aren’t participating – it’s not a thing. But we started to divide ourselves into listeners and performers, and we’re now at a time in both the kid and adult world where “really great” has to be the benchmark for these different skills, like if you’re not an amazing fill in the blank, you can’t do it, you can’t even do it for fun, but think about it – there’s expert car drivers like in the Indy 500, but we still drive, because it serves a function. There are expert chefs, but we still cook, because it serves a function. Music has been around for thousands and thousands of years, because it serves a function. One of which is to calm a baby, to calm a caregiver, to break apart words using “parentese,” which is a higher register in our voice… these physiological effects are felt by every human, in every culture.”
So how would a parent get started here if singing to baby isn’t already a big part of your repertoire?
Watch as Manzanrez, in the video clips below, puts theory into action, using common songs to connect with two infants (twins!). Manzanarez breaks each interaction down into the most useful components, making it simple to replicate. Her explanations for the interactions — the why — make it compelling, too.
“One thing that is so inexpensive and amazing is a simple see-through scarf. Keep it in the diaper bag, keep it in the car. It’s sensory, tactile, stimulating. You can play peekaboo without having to be scared. Baby can suck on it, and you can use it to teach little songs, building language and using music to bond the caregiver to child. When I do “higglety pigglety pop, the dog is eating the mop,” the child sees it go up and down and we’re interacting. They’re learning social cues and mirroring me, and I’m getting energy charged by their response, which makes me want to do it again, and makes me want to do it longer, which grows our bond.”
Here, in Jack Be Nimble, the babies are holding some simple instruments. “An object like a maraca, with a handle, is great for babies. With their grasping reflex, right away they get it, so it’s great to have in the car, the changing table, the diaper bag.”
There are “portable” songs and rhymes, meaning we don’t have to gather up a bunch of material or gather toys. Flip over a container and start to tap on it. Before you know it, your toddler is playing with sound… the idea is they are starting to see you react to that and their reaction, working on creativity, and having them see how you respond to them. Music is that chaos; that cacophony of sound.”
“If a parent plays an instrument, bring it out, even if not a child’s song. I’m sure they would love a rendition of Stairway to Heaven! To have them experience live music is so important, feeling those vibrations. Even if it’s a flute, just exposing the child to that. The instrument is the conduit that helps create that connection.” For those who have always wanted to learn, check out Manzanarez’s guidance and lessons on learning the ukulele. My husband and I decided to give it a go and got a lot out of lesson 1; see us getting started below. Next step: get the whole family strumming along.
“It’s all about body language. They tell you when they’re done. They tell you when they want more. And if they didn’t want it to end — that’s always a good sign! It’s also good to end on a high note, where they want it to keep coming. Here, one kiddo has decided to crawl, so Jocelyn goes with it. “Learning and force should never be in the same sentence — kids’ brains are naturally wired to learn.”
No words. Wait, no words, really?! Well, of course, words matter when it comes to building connection and pre-literacy in young children. But when they come naturally, perhaps through song, when they lead to attachment, to shared attention, and “serve and return” interactions, they matter more.
If you liked this, check out another piece featuring Jocelyn Manzanarez: How to Raise a Reader? Think Outside the Book, as well as her website, https://www.musicallyminded.net/
Annie Garrett is a Manager and Part Time Faculty in the Early Childhood Education program at North Seattle College. She began her PEPS journey as a parent in 2017, became a Group Leader in 2018, and a PEPS Ambassador in 2022. Connect with Annie via her author site where you can also read more of her work on parenting, advocating, and lifeing.