By Sarah Crystal (Estimated reading time: 5 minutes)
If you’re reading this, you’re probably somewhere between the chaos of diaper changes, sleepless nights, and wondering if you’ll ever feel like yourself again. Welcome to the wild, wonderful world of parenting! Whether you’re on your first or third baby, nothing truly prepares you for the emotional whirlwind that comes with it—waves of anxiety, moments of dysphoria, and even bursts of shame, guilt, and rage that leave you wondering, “Who am I?”
The good news? It doesn’t have to stay this way. There’s a simple, evidence-based approach that can help you regain your sense of calm and control: the Cognitive Behavioral Model (CBT). Let’s dive into how you can use CBT to break free from negative thinking, manage tough emotions, and start feeling better.
At its core, CBT is about understanding how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected. What you think directly impacts how you feel, and that drives what you do (or don’t do).
This model helps break down why you might feel anxious, guilty or overwhelmed, and, most importantly, how to interrupt that cycle.
Here’s a game-changing concept: situations are neutral. The baby crying, the pile of laundry, the sleepless nights—these situations are totally neutral! They don’t carry emotional weight until you attach a thought to them.
Notice in the example above, the thought, “I can’t handle this; I’m a terrible parent,” creates the feelings of anxiety, frustration, guilt, and self-doubt. It’s not the baby’s crying that’s stressing you out—it’s your thought about the crying.
The good news? You can change your thoughts. You have the power to interpret the situation differently.
Watch this play out…
Another important aspect of CBT is recognizing that your beliefs aren’t automatically true. Just because you’ve had a thought over and over again doesn’t mean it’s true. Our brains love to repeat thoughts until they feel like facts, but they’re just thoughts, that we can choose to believe or choose to change!
When you start questioning your long-held beliefs, you’ll realize that many of them are just thoughts that have been on repeat for too long. Changing those thoughts can change everything.
This small shift in thinking can change how you feel in the moment. It can reduce anxiety and frustration, helping you respond to your child from a place of calm instead of overwhelm.
One of the most powerful tools in CBT is the Thought Download. It’s basically a brain dump to help you see what’s really going on in your mind.
Once you’ve examined your thoughts, poke holes in the ones that aren’t serving you.
You’ll be surprised how quickly doing this shifts your mood.
Here are some practical steps to incorporate CBT into your life as a parent:
Parenting is one of the hardest—and most rewarding—jobs out there. But it’s also a huge adjustment. By using the Cognitive Behavioral Model, you can shift your mindset, manage tough emotions, and start feeling more in control.
Remember: it’s okay to struggle. But you’re not stuck. With a few simple mindset shifts and some practice, you’ll start feeling calmer, more confident, and ready to take on whatever parenting throws your way.
You’ve got this! And if you need more support, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Sarah Crystal is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, specializing in helping parents address challenging child behavior through her evidence-based program, The Empowered Parent Toolkit. Whether your child has a behavioral diagnosis or not, Sarah provides practical strategies to support lasting behavior change and help you create a calmer home environment. Parenting is not easy, but through our work, it will feel less challenging and more rewarding! If you want to learn more, or schedule a free consultation, visit drsarahcrystal.com.